Healthy Boundaries are Fences Not Walls

In life, it can be difficult to know where to draw the line between being open and protecting our hearts. We often fear that setting boundaries means shutting people out, but this is far from the truth. Boundaries are essential for growth, fostering healthy relationships, and ensuring we live in alignment with God’s will.

For a long time, I struggled with the concept of healthy boundaries. I had to learn—often through mistakes—how crucial it is to set boundaries that protect us physically, mentally, and spiritually. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a polite “NO.”

I didn’t realize it was okay to say no, so I would take on too many commitments,

placing myself under unnecessary pressure.

Being an overachiever didn’t help; I found myself overextended, having to make excuses (and sometimes I had to tell a lie) to get out of some commitments or feeling dissatisfied with the results of others. All of this could have been avoided if I had known that it’s okay to say no.

Think of boundaries as fences, not walls. Fences guide us, protect us, and allow us to interact with the world, while walls shut people out and leave us isolated. A fence can guard what’s important to us while still allowing us to engage with others in a healthy, meaningful way.

Proverbs 4:23 reminds us,

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

Setting boundaries helps us do just that – we guard our hearts, not out of fear, but to protect what matters most.

Boundaries help us create a safe zone where mutual respect, love, and understanding can grow. They aren’t about pushing people away but rather keeping negative influences from entering and damaging our peace. Healthy boundaries allow us to keep the good things in – love, trust, and God’s grace – while keeping harmful behaviours or influences at a safe distance.

Even Jesus demonstrated boundaries when He withdrew from the crowds to pray and spend time with God. Mark 1:35 says,

“Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house, and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.”

Jesus knew the importance of creating space for rest and reflection.

Setting healthy boundaries helps us protect what is most important to us – our faith, our relationships, and our mental and emotional well-being. By doing this, we ensure that we can serve others from a place of fullness and not from exhaustion.

Healthy boundaries are not a sign of weakness but of wisdom. When we establish these spiritual fences, we create space for God’s peace, love, and grace to flourish. We respect the relationships He’s given us by protecting them with respect and care, knowing that, as Proverbs 27:17 reminds us,

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

Boundaries are not about separation, but about sharpening and strengthening our connections in ways that reflect God’s love and His purpose for our lives.

By setting boundaries, we are not just guarding our hearts, but also honoring God’s command to live wisely and with discernment. Proverbs 25:28 warns,

“Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.”

Without boundaries, we leave ourselves vulnerable to emotional exhaustion, burnout,

and harmful influences.

So, let us embrace the wisdom of setting healthy boundaries, knowing that through them, we protect our peace, grow in love, and live more fully in alignment with God’s will. In guarding our hearts, we make room for God’s presence to dwell and for His blessings to flow abundantly in our lives.