Learning To Dance In The Rain

We had a wedding!! My beautiful niece, Kylie, got married to her best friend Sam. Due to covid we had to plan it very quickly before another lockdown and had to limit our guest to 50. Challenge excepted!

From the start we could feel God’s hand in all our planning. From finding the perfect venue, dress, and overall planning, everything was just working out. We had a few moments where we had jaws dropped to the floor at our luck and then we would just smile at each other knowing that this was another blessing from God.

I was honoured to be part of planning this special day for Kylie, the daughter I never had. It feels just like yesterday her cute little 3yr old bum was sitting on my lap and now, here we were planning one of the most important days of her life.

I’m known for being optimistic, so when we chose the wedding venue we were banking on the fact that rain wouldn’t be in the forecast.

We found the perfect venue that had this lovely outside setting for the ceremony under a tree. The most dramatic stairway for the bride, it was perfect in every sense of the word. But what if it rains?? My life is based on having a good solid plan B in place always. Something I have been struggling with as God has been telling me that with him I need no plan B. So, for once I let go of all plan B’s. I refused to think about the possibility of rain on 21 November. I did pray for favourable weather.

So here we were a week before the wedding and our rainy season is in full swing. I have now started keeping a close eye on the weather updates. A complete waste of time as KZN weather is so unpredictable in summer. I take that back - weather in KZN is so unpredictable all the time - we have all 4 seasons in a day most days.

All week the forecast had been warning me of rain for Saturday afternoon. But, it is KZN after all – so I believed in the forecast about 50%.

I had the pleasure of hosting the girls the night before the wedding. As we arrived at the venue for last checks and a quick rehearsal, it started raining (right on time as per weather app). This also was the same time as the wedding tomorrow. It was a very soft rain and was very welcomed as it cooled us down from all the humidity that day. I thought to myself, "self – we may get through this with rainbows! Oh, rainbows – what a magical touch for those flawless, colourful outdoor photos." Yeah Right.

As we fell asleep that evening it was still raining. I realised that I have no back up plan, was this honestly the best plan to have? I did not even pack an umbrella?

I woke up the next morning around 5am, the sun baking me out of the bed. The Sun?! I jumped out of bed and started thanking God for this beautiful day. I took a photo and sent it to my sister (mother of the bride) yay! Our prayers have been answered.

We had the perfect day, everyone was in great moods and smiles was the order of the day. When I dropped the snacks for the bridal parties at lunch time I did my last quick checks, everything looked amazing. The Ceremonial area under the tree, was picture perfect with all the wooden hearts dangling from the branches. The reception hall was breath taking & the outside area with the welcome drinks and canapés had such a fun vibe while still looking very classy. This was the area the guest would probably enjoy the most.

At 15h00 I felt a slight breeze and knew the weather was changing. Rushing the boys to finish so I can get to the venue to greet guest and do a last quick look around. Make sure all is good for 16h00. As I walked out the flat I saw lightning in the clouds that is slowly moving our way.

My first thought when I saw the grey skies that day was, “What did I do wrong, God?!”

As a (recovering) control-freak and (slight) drama-queen, it didn’t make any sense. We worked our tails off planning this wedding and we made sure to put in an early appeal for no rain. I definitely did not request thunderstorms…

But since it was my nieces wedding day and I had my hair and make-up done so nicely I decided I might as well continue the optimism just a few hours longer.

By 15h30 I felt the first rain drop, not a tiny one. One of those big ones that makes you look up to make sure it wasn’t a bird dropping. I went to the girls flat as Kylie was going to do her dress reveal to her bride’s maids. Annoyed by the weather I refused to let it show on my face as I entered the room. She was the most beautiful bride I have ever seen. I remember telling everyone, no tears this is a happy day and there I was crying at the 1st sight of her.

It didn’t just rain… we had lightning and thunder too! Did I mention the venue was also on top of a hill & the ceremony was under a tree?

Our vision of this perfect ceremony outside under the tree, and the reception overlooking the ceremony area didn’t work out like I hoped. Instead, I watched the guests stand shoulder-to-shoulder, watching the impending storm. We decided to start earlier in the hopes to miss the rain.

I remember sitting under that beautiful tree, looking at the dark grey skies feeling the rain on my face still praying that it will stop just so we can have this ceremony. And while I was praying and feeling let down because I did not have a plan B and plan A is not working out right now, I felt God saying to me that his blessings is not always what we had in mind. You have no plan B but look up Child, learn to dance in the rain…

It was raining as the bride made her way down that dramatic stairway. As I looked up at her I saw her beautiful smile and in that moment I realised that today was not about perfect weather but about Kylie & Sam getting married.

She looked radiant, I have never seen her smile like that. The look on Sam’s face when he saw her will be imprinted on my heart for life. We all sat in the rain but it didn’t matter. We were just so happy to be there and be part of this special moment. Making their promises to each other with God and the handful of carefully picked guests. It was a beautiful picture of the commitment they were choosing to make… and its even about more than that. It’s about love that’s deeper than emotion. Love that is only possible because of a God who loves us so dearly. Love that rain doesn’t water down, but that rain strengthens. And somehow in that moment, I knew that celebrating with them during the rain was something that they would be doing on a much deeper level for the rest of their lives.

The reception, which was supposed to be half-outside, was instead crammed into the small reception hall. I made the conscious decision to stop focusing on the somewhat wet guests who stood crammed like sardines trying to find a comfy dry spot outside, and enjoy the day in all its glory. When you are with the right family and friends not even the weather can damper your celebrations. We all made the most of it and even though we weren’t all looking as we planned (surely no one planned to look like drenched cats) we still laughed and had fun. Dancing the night away.

Looking back on that day, I am thankful it rained for a number of reasons:

· I learned that even if plan A does not go as planned, you don’t need a plan B to bring you happiness.

· Trusting God does not always mean you get what you think you need.

· Marriage is about learning to adapt to situations together. Sam & Kylie did a great job at facing their first storm with a smile on their face and God by their side guiding them.

· Sunny days are wonderful. But rainy days are frequent. And we can run from the thunder or we can hold each other tighter.

· It’s not easy. Most of the time storms pull us apart. And many times it seems like it’s the other person’s fault. Understanding that storms are out of our control gives it less power over our lives.

· Thank God that he designed marriage to be about more than just sunny days.

· There are some who believe rain on your wedding day is a symbol of fertility. A blessing to the bride and groom (Parents & aunties too). We so looking forward to that chapter in their lives.

· Rain on your wedding signifies that your marriage will last. A knot that becomes wet is extremely hard to untie, therefore, when you “tie the knot” on a rainy day, your marriage is just as hard to unravel! While busy with planning we spoke about tying an actual knot as a symbolic meaning but left it out as we had too many other things to plan.

· God’s favour fell like rain upon Sam & Kylie, like showers reviving the earth (Psalm 72:6)

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (Mark 10:7-9)