The Power of Labels: Speaking Life into Our Loved Ones

What if the words you spoke became the very reality your loved ones lived in? Would you choose them more carefully?  James 3:9-10 warns us about the dual nature of our words, a truth that resonates deeply when we reflect on the power of labels:

We use our tongue to praise God our Father and then turn around and curse a person who was made in his very image! Out of the same mouth we pour out words of praise one minute and curses the next. My brothers and sisters, this should never be!

Imagine a world where every word you spoke, every label you assigned to your loved ones, appeared on their skin like a tattoo for everyone to see. Imagine words like 'failure' etched in angry red ink, or 'worthless' seeping deep into the skin, impossible to erase. Picture your child walking around with words like "slow" or "troublemaker" etched into their skin. Imagine your husband, the man you pledged to love and cherish, bearing the scars of every time you thought of him as an "asshole" or "narcissist." How different would your words be if their impact was so visible, so undeniable?

In a world that seems to only function when there’s a label assigned to everything—be careful of the labels you assign to yourself, your family, and your friends. When you're tired, emotionally drained, or simply overwhelmed, it’s normal to feel off-balance—we all go through this. But remember, you don’t need to assign a permanent label to those passing moments.

Of course, when genuine concerns arise, seeking professional advice is essential. However, not every shift in behaviour needs to be pathologized.  I’m not dismissing the importance of diagnosing and treating real illnesses, but we should be cautious not too hastily slap a label on every situation.

This isn’t just a theoretical concept; it’s a reality I’ve lived through.  I once labelled myself as worthless…  I know it’s a lie most of us believe.  This lie was exposed, and I realised it stemmed from childhood trauma that manifested and became a reality.  I lacked self confidence and believed that it is ok to be used by others as I have no other worth anyways.  This lie and many others was exposed when I started my walk with God.  It was a long, very emotional path but oh so worth it.  My beautiful friend who I confided with, prayed with me.  Talking to her helped expose lies and helped me understand the root of it, I was able to break those chains and now know that I am worth more than rubies.  I don’t want to discuss much of this now as it will take over the point I am trying to get to today.  I might go deeper into this on another blog.

If your child’s behaviour changes by becoming more active for example, it might just be a new season of exploration for them. It doesn’t need to be labelled as a disorder. The truth is, once you label something, you manifest it—you tattoo it on their life.

These tattoo-like labels don't just affect the present; they have the power to create generational insecurities. For example, if you constantly tell yourself, you are fat (even when you're not), you start to believe it, and your self-image changes—almost never for the better. I know so many women who struggle with this and wonder why they can't be more confident. The tragedy is that their daughters witness this self-talk and start repeating the same harmful labels—labels that weren't even theirs to begin with, but now shape their reality and self-worth based on a lie.

Another common label, especially for men, is the idea that they can only truly be happy once they’re "successful." Young boys grow up with low self-worth, believing they’ll only be worthy when they achieve some vague notion of success.

This label of "not enough" gets passed down, creating a cycle of insecurity.

The truth is our words are more powerful than we often realize. They may not appear on the skin, but they imprint deeply on the heart and mind. Proverbs 18:21 reminds us,

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit."

Every label we assign, whether in anger, frustration, or thoughtlessness, has the potential to shape the identity and self-worth of those we love.

When we call our children "lazy" or "stupid," we are not merely expressing frustration; we are planting seeds of doubt and insecurity. These words, repeated over time, can grow into a deep-rooted belief in their own inadequacy. Imagine instead, speaking words of life—"You are capable," "You are loved," "You have so much potential." These words, too, would leave their mark, but it would be a mark of confidence, strength, and resilience.

The same is true in our marriages. Ephesians 4:29 encourages us,

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

When we label our spouse with negative terms, even in our minds, we slowly erode the foundation of love and respect. Instead, we can choose to focus on their strengths, to see the good in them, and to speak life into our relationship.

It’s not just others we need to be careful with; the labels we assign to ourselves are equally important. When we call ourselves "failures" or "unworthy," we limit our potential and disconnect from the truth of who we are in Christ. Psalm 139:14 declares,

“I thank you, God, for making me so mysteriously complex! Everything you do is marvellously breathtaking. It simply amazes me to think about it! How thoroughly you know me, Lord!" 

The words we speak over ourselves should reflect the love and purpose that God has for us.

Removing these metaphorical tattoos isn’t easy; it requires intentional effort, healing, and time, much like the painful process of removing a real tattoo. But it’s possible, and the result is worth it.

We must be mindful of the labels we assign, for they carry a weight that can uplift or destroy. Words have the power to shape reality, to mold the self-perception of our loved ones, and to influence the atmosphere of our homes.

Take a moment today to reflect on the labels you’ve assigned to yourself or others. Write them down, and then beside each, write a positive affirmation or a truth that counters the negative label. This small step can begin the process of rewriting those ‘tattoos’ with words of life.

Become more conscious about labels you issue, to yourself and those around you. 

A thought-provoking exercise is to write down a negative label you’ve assigned to yourself and then contrast it with a positive affirmation. Consider sharing this on your social media storyline, not for others, but to confront how it feels to have such labels visible—even if only to you.

Challenge yourself daily to be aware of the labels you’re tempted to use. Choose instead to speak life and truth. In doing so, you'll not only transform your relationships but also begin to rewrite the 'tattoos' of negativity with words of affirmation and love.

Nothing is more appealing than speaking beautiful, life-giving words. For they release sweetness to our souls and inner healing to our spirits.

Proverbs 16:24